yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
