I cockslap morals
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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