You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he was CRYING into my vagina
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
