it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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