Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
