my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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