She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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