So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
