i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize