There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
