hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
