never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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