I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
