So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
