Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
