i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
