its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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