Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
