I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
