ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
