I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
