She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
