his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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