Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My balls are so social today.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
