I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
