I think I died a long time ago.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
