His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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