So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
