And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
