Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
