the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize