Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
