it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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