Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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