I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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