my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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