People in love make me want to vomit
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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