he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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