Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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