Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
