Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
