yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
