my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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