This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
