why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
