What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
