Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
