Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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