He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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