Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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