Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
