You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
