Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
