While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
