And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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