Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
