i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
