I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
