i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
